You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
