was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
These tits shall not be calmed
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
