she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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