I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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