he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize