What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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