my mouth tastes like poor choices
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
