i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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