He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Two words: blizzard sex
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize