I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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