Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
