If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize