Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
