Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
