I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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