I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
