I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
