i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
