i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
