Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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