You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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