woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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