Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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