The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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