I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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