Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
