Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize