I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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