you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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