He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
