turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
