Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
send nudes
from the living room?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
