just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
