I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I need a beard to bite.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize