i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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