Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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