i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
