no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
