pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
