i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
