Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
