Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
