; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
