Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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