There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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