I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
