You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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