the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
