Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
