i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
