We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
