they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
