I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
