Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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