i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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