I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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