did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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