Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
