We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
