some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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