Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
