I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
