Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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