You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
