nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
