Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
