there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
