Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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