The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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