Moan for me like Helen Keller
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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