I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
