goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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